Nicole Scherzinger on her bulimia battle : ‘It was such a dark time for me’

Nicole Scherzinger on her bulimia battle : ‘It was such a dark time for me’

Sharing is caring!Facebook0Twitter0Google+0Pinterest0 The former X Factor judge and ex-Pussycat Doll opens up about her struggles with eating and her ...

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The former X Factor judge and ex-Pussycat Doll opens up about her struggles with eating and her body, learning to love herself, overcoming shyness and her ‘crazy romantic’ relationship with Lewis Hamilton…

She appears self-assured and confident but for Nicole Scherzinger, her gorgeous looks and lean body haven’t made her immune from insecurity.In fact, she admits she’s spent years crippled by self-doubt, body hang-ups and a battle with bulimia, which started when she became a dancer.

“I had such a great life on the outside, but I was miserable on the inside,” said Nicole, 36, in an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine.

“[Opening up about bulimia] was hard for me to speak about. It still is hard, and thinking about it I try not to well up. It is such a horrible paralysing disease and it was such a dark time for me.

“That’s why I can empathise so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves.

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Bulimia is an eating disorder in which the sufferer starves themselves or try to control their weight by restricting their food intake and then bingeing on food. This may be followed by purging, either through being sick or with laxatives.

Nicole explains how, even though it looked like she had the world at her feet, the eating disorder got so bad she started losing her voice.But the wake-up call came when she was found passed out on the floor.

“I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France. I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I don’t love myself,’.

The star can now reflect on her experiences and wants to reassure others that they can get through it.

“It robs you of living your life. But you can recover and you can get rid of it forever. I did it and that’s why it’s so important for me to share my story.

“I felt so alone but I made myself so alone. You hide it from the world, you isolate yourself. But you can beat it – do not give up because you’re so special and you’re meant for such great things.”

She may seem glamorous and confident and describes herself as “balls to the walls” on camera, behind the scenes Nicole says she’s very reserved.“I get past my shyness by making everything about others and not thinking about myself. “That’s what I did on The X Factor – I can be goofy and playful when it’s about the acts. They are like my babies. But when I’m off stage I’m not as big and animated.

“People know they could have a pint with me, they know I work hard but, for me, all my smiles and confidence are a triumph because it came from a broken place,” she added.

Opening up about her relationship with Lewis Hamilton she admits it’s “crazy romantic” but admits she finds the distance tough.

“Relationships are hard and having to hold a long-distance relationship is even harder,” she said.

“It’s kudos to us for growing and trying – there’s so much love there. It’s just the distance, it’s not natural for anyone. But I’m good and I’m happy.”

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But when asked if she would cut back on her work to spend more time with him the singer was adamant she wouldn’t. “No, absolutely not. This is my passion, I have so much more to give, and with him – whether we’re on or off – I wholeheartedly support him in everything he does,” she said.

“It’s good we have that love and respect for each other.”

 

 

 

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